he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
