New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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