so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
We were destined to go to rehab together
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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