We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
