I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Randomize
