i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
