is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
