so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Thank you for not boning my boss.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
