gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
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