oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
