Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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