with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
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