so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
