Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
