This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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