That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
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