chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I just found puke in my bra..
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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