but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
