just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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