using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
vagina is talking i cant
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
