i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
they're like a gay fantastic four
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
