i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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