Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Send help, water and tortillas.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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