Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
