conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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