Is it normal to miss your booty call?
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
