And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
