he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
