God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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