time to smoke my breakfast
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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