scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
