fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
