i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
