Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
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