Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
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