Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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