The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize