hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
