My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
