i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
