Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize
