fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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