I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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