Your tits are I can't wait for
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
