Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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