Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
