I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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