it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Randomize
