don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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