STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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