I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
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I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
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He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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