in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
