that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
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