I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
He? As in you personified your dick?
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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