evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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