one might say we're banned from that church
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
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