Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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