SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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