Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
jump out the window naked night went bad
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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