I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
