you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
