dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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