Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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