Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
