I wish my penis had an off switch
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
two words: eviction party
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
