i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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