you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
